She's JV to your varsity
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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