what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
