Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
