Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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