oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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