So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
