what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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