He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
