I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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