I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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