Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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