Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
