It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
