Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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