Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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