Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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