No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
