I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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