We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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