I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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