so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
