Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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