she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
