okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
