So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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