Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
