I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
