There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she peed on how many people?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
