do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
