I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
