THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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