There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
