I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
