Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
