ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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