Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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