Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
