I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
