Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
