am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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