You're so nebulous sometimes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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