I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
