this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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