Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
