hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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