well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
