I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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