porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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