it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
