don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
