I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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