he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
