i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
